My wife went to do the ParkRun on the beachfront promenade in the morning, while I took our Labrador, Remy for a walk. Our dog has hip dysplasia, so he can’t run for too long. After smelling the promenade and investigating everything he could, Remy’s eyes lit up when he met his mom at the finish and ran with her for a bit to Suncoast.

We then took him to the beach at Durban underwater club (DUC) and let him run on the sand.
From there we went to Moyo on the pier which is just next door. I had a coffee while my wife had a cocktail, and Remy had some much needed water. The service at Moyo’s is never great but the location is stunning so it’s an easy trade off.

We headed home had some breakfast and started getting ready for our afternoon out. My father fetched us at about 11:45 we picked up another friend, and we made our way to Billy the Bums for some pre-soccer drinks. Everyone else arrived around 12:30. The gates to the stadium were supposed to open at 12pm. So the plan was to have a few drinks then Uber down to the stadium around 13:30. That was the plan anyway.

The announcement then came over the SuperSport channel, which was on at Billy’s, the game was postponed until 19:00, with the gates now opening at 16:00. We all sat and debated what to do while drinking another beer. A braai was suggested, or another restaurant for lunch, until eventually someone suggested we catch a bus to Afro’s chicken on the beach. Just like that, we all agreed.

We caught an Uber cab for R20 down to Kings Park swimming pool which is where the PeopleMover bus leaves from. Hopped of the bus and made our way. Not knowing what stop would be closest to get off I asked our crew if anyone knew. This was my first time on our city’s people movers, but as it turns out, one of our friend’s son likes to ride the bus, so they do it often. He was leading the way. We jumped off the bus and took a cool 2 min walk to Afros where we had some awesome chicken burgers.

A little further down, we walked to Surf Riders and proceeded to order some beers and cocktails. We had a lot of entertainment, with a drunk couple getting it on just outside the restaurant, but that just makes for an entertaining day. We took another walk down to the bus stop, taking in the local art  and waited 20 min for our bus back to the stadium. For R5-50 a bus ticket, it’s a steal!

The only problem with the match being postponed was that now the rugby and soccer were on at the same time, and the fact that the rugby and soccer stadiums are across the road from each other. There was also a concert going on in the People’s Park with multiple bands and DJ’s, called The Enchanted Playground, which is next to Moses Mabhida. It was going to be a busy night. Half our crew had tickets to rugby and the soccer, and had now chosen to go to the rugby instead. We sadly said our goodbyes and headed in opposite directions. I got myself a Bafana Bafana hat, for a mere 20 bucks and now I was ready for the game.

We headed into the stadium got some beer and headed to our seats. The atmosphere at Moses Mabhida Stadium is unmatched. The vibe was awesome with all sorts of characters popping up, from Kaizer Chiefs biggest supporter to a man dressed in drag and loving it.

We had a Mexican wave come around the stadium at least four times, until the crowd had to start singing just to stop it. The game was a draw in the end, but that didn’t really matter. The stadium was on fire, the crowd was singing, screaming, and blowing vuvuzelas like mad men.

It was truly an epic game and an amazing day. I’m not a soccer fan, hell I’m not even that much of a rugby fan, and I’ve definitely been to more rugby games than I’ve been to soccer matches. But with an atmosphere like we had last night, I will definitely be going back for more.

The Howick Falls are always a nice place to start your trip. Head towards Howick and take the Midmar Dam turnoff, exit 103. Turn right over the bridge and at the next T-junction turn left, then head down Main Road towards the Howick Falls Hotel. At the Hotel, turn right and head down to find a parking. Along the road you will find an array of coffee shops as well as second hand stores, and of course, the Howick Falls themselves.

A photo posted by John Benecke (@kettleman) on Jul 1, 2014 at 9:35am PDT

From the falls, you can turn around and head right, up Howick Main Road. Go through Howick and over the bridge that crosses the N3. This turn off would be the Howick North, exit 107, if you were coming from the freeway. At the T-junction turn right onto the R103. This is one of your main Meander routes. From here on the number of shops and pubs are endless. If you feel you want to stop somewhere, then go ahead. The Meander has so much to see you could almost get lost. Florentine’s Belgian Chocolate shop is little chocolate shop on your left hand side as you start your Meander. They have awesome macadamia nuts covered in white, milk or dark chocolate. We normally stop here on the way back, otherwise your chocolate will melt before you can get it home… unless you stop on the way up and again on the way back down.

The Nelson Mandala Capture site is up next on the left and is definitely worth a visit (http://www.thecapturesite.co.za). It’s full of vibrant history, as well as a sculpture of  Nelson Mandela, which is more like a portrait. As a South African, you have to make the time see it at least once. It puts our lives into perspective.

A photo posted by John Benecke (@kettleman) on Mar 21, 2013 at 4:58am PDT

Just past the capture site at the petrol station on the left, is Steampunk Café (http://www.steampunkcoffee.co.za). It’s an awesome coffee shop and if you are going too fast you will probably miss it. You get R2 off a cup of coffee if you take your own mug. I suggest stopping on the way up, and the way down. The coffee is really good. Adding to the atmosphere is a local dog who comes to visit and stays on the welcome mat the whole day. Good coffee, good place to sit and chat. I have customers up in Howick, and I stop here at least once a week.

Next up is the Piggly Wiggly Farm Stall (http://www.pigglywiggly.co.za). This is a perfect breakfast stop. The food is good and they have a welcoming fire burning on cold winter mornings. There are a lot of shops here, as well as a pizza place that makes a really good pizza. They have a wine shop, a nursery, and you can spend hours here just relaxing. It’ a good place for children, when we were last there they were putting in some train tracks for a children’s train.

From here you have an array of places to stop at. I suggest stopping at any of the shops in the Midlands and picking up a Meander guide. It has a map of all the shops located on the route.

The Ugly Duckling is one of the shops up next and I think they have about three or so along the way. They have something for everyone. So browse and see if you like anything.

There are a few cheese shops along the route but the first one you come across, is Swissland Cheese. They all do cheese tastings but here you can pay R5 and buy some feed for the goats. It’s great if you have never done it but remember to bring some hand sanitizer. The other cheese shop is further along, and its called Marrakesh Cheese. Try them both, even if you don’t do it on the same day.

A photo posted by John Benecke (@kettleman) on Mar 21, 2013 at 4:59am PDT

There are a few lunch places but I have two favorites, and yes… it requires two days to do them both! The first is Gunther’s Sausage. Its just passed Swissland Cheese, just follow the sign on the main road when you see it. They sell German Swiss sausages and beer. You can either get some sausages as takeaway, or sit down for a meal. They have two huge Saint Bernard dogs, Hansel and Gretel, and they definately give the place an authentic German feel. All sausages are served with a crispy roll and potatoes, and you have the option to order sauerkraut. Oh, and did I mention the beer?

Further up is Rawdons Hotel (http://www.rawdons.co.za) and the home of Nottingham Brewery. You can do a tour of the brewery and buy lots of beer, or simply just buy lots of beer. The Hotel also does a good lunch, but I prefer Rawdons other pub, The Bierfassl just down the road. This is my other favorite lunch places to stop. They both sell a four glass beer taster so you know which beer to buy. This could take a few hours to enjoy as you can easily get carried away, so be prepared.  

At this point the road continues straight or turns left under the bridge. On your right hand side, if you keep going straight is a centre called The Junction (http://www.nottiesjunction.co.za). They have a variety of shops, so this is also worth a stop.  This road will shortly get you back to the N3.

A good place for dinner, justup ahead, past The Junction, in the Meander Centre on the left is Sapore (www.sapore.co.za), an Italian restaurant. The food is also really good. 

In terms of places to stay the Midlands have plenty. We found a nice one, just past the N3 turnoff, called The Windmills (http://thewindmills.co.za/). I’ll let the picture below say it all.

A photo posted by John Benecke (@kettleman) on Nov 16, 2013 at 5:09am PST

Now, time to go left under the bridge. The next centre is Sherwood Centre. They have a Spar, some antique shops, and a  few other places. Take the time to have a walk around. Further up the road is the other cheese shop Marrakesh and just past that is The Wine Cellar. They have all sorts of wines from all over, and you’ll definately spend some money here.

If you carry on along the road you will eventually get to the toll at Mooi River. There is an awesome Biltong shop at the Mooi River 1-stop.

This list is by far complete. Places to stay in the Midlands are abundant, some other places we have stayed at that I would recommend are:

• Pleasant Places (www.pleasantplaces.co.za)
• Waterford Manor (http://www.waterfordmanor.co.za/)
• Granny Mouse (http://www.grannymouse.co.za/ )
• Midlands Saddle and Trout (http://www.midlandssaddle.co.za)

This list could go on and on, but at some point, I have to let you discover the place for yourself.

We usually leave Durban at around 3:30am to be at the border by 8. You have two options once you reach the border post. If you have a 4×4 or 4×2 with diff lock, you can drive straight across the border and on to Ponta, but just make sure you have all the relevant paperwork, like a letter from the bank saying you can take the car out of the country and a letter from your insurance. You will also need to purchase insurance for the time you are in Mozambique, which can easily be done at the huts at the border. The other option, if like us you don’t have a 4×4, is to park on the South African border side, walk across and get a transfer.

The transfer can either be arranged with the camp site / hotel you are staying at, or you can SMS a guy by the name of Isaac (+258842003717). He was the only person that I could ever find that we could get a hold of. They say on busy days you can also get a transfer with guys waiting at the border, but I like to plan ahead so it’s your call how you want to do it. I recommend Isaac, he his talkative, knows the shortcuts and does this for a living. You may stop off along the way to drop something with a local family, or have his cousin along for the ride, but its all good. All the resorts know him as well, which is a plus.

On busy days, the border crossing can get extremely busy. There have been times we have waited in the queue for three or so hours, and times we have simply walked across within five minutes. It all depends how many of the border officials on the South African side are on tea break at the time.

When you get stamped into Mozambique just make sure, that if you give the guy behind the counter a stack of passports that they are all stamped. I’ve heard horror stories which I’m not going into here, but as with all border crossings just be vigilant. See, now I’ve made it sound scarier than it really is. It is really easy, just use common sense. This is Africa.

To get to Ponta, once you’ve crossed the border, turn left. Follow the signs if you can find them, the car in front of you, or one of the many dirt tracks. Once in Ponta your first stop should be Fernando’s. As you come into the town, it’s the big pub straight ahead at the market. Relax and have a few R&R’s. Rum and Raspberry is the staple in Mozambique. Fernando pours them like a legend, and your first one is always stiff. Right next door to Fernando’s is a place you can get your Pao, which is Portuguese bread. You will have to queue for it, but generally I do so with an R&R in hand, as well as being handed a regular top up by friends. It’s worth the wait. Bring a plastic packet to put your Poa in if you don’t want to pay for one. The bread is always fresh and warm… it’s heaven in a bun.

There is a restaurant on the beach called Ponta Beach Bar and it’s a good place to eat. We normally head there from Fernando’s for lunch before checking in to our accommodation. You can have a swim and there are plenty of venders on the beach to sell you all sorts of wares.

Ponto Is small, and everything is within walking distance. There are dive camps you can stay at as well as plenty of resorts, hotels or self-catering chalets. Gala Gala Eco Resort is a nice place to stay where you have the option of camping, or fully fitted luxury tented blocks. They also do dive trips if you are into diving. Right next door is Durban Curries. Its run by a women named Sharon, she plays guitar and can be persuaded to sing some nights as well. The food is good and it truly is a taste of Durban in Mozambique. We always stop, have a few drinks and play some guitar. Generally late afternoon or evening after we’ve had a pub crawl.

That being said, shebeen crawls are a good way to spend the day. Just about 4 – 7km past Ponta do Ouro is Ponta Malongane and the start of the shebeens. It’s not far, but you will need a 4×4. My wife and I once tried to walk to a pub called 360 degrees, and about a half a km in, I ended up hitching. Here’s a handy tip, when you ask a local how far the pub is, and he sees you walking and goes “Yoh”, you know it’s going be a long day. That was our first time, many years ago and when Gala Gala came to pick us up, they wanted to know how the hell we got there without a car.

Next door to 360 Degrees is a pub called Jenny’s bar. It has amazing views of the beach and you need to stop there at some point in your stay, if you are not making it your last stop before you head back to town. You have plenty of lunch options with the pubs on your pub crawl, or you can simply make sandwiches with the Poa you bought and eat it on the beach. Ponta Malongane has a nice beach to spend the morning, but if you are going with someone who knows the area, there are plenty of beaches all over the place.

Start your pub crawl at any of the shebeens and work your way back into town. Be sure to stop at Jack’s Barefoot Bar and hit some golf balls. For a good resource on a list of the pubs, as well as a lot of things to do in Ponta, try here http://www.pontadoouroaccommodation.co.za/. Another way of finding out is to simply drive and stop.

When it comes to breakfast, Neptune’s is a good place. It’s by the ATM in front of the beach. So is Mango café, which is just past that, and opposite The Whaler. Love Café, just before the market, is also a good option for breakfast or lunch. All the restaurants in the area are pretty reasonable so don’t feel the need to pack endless supplies of food. We normally only cook dinners and have Poa for lunch, or simply eat out.

Ponta has endless things to keep you entertained and also have an endless supply of pubs and places to go at night. They have another bar on the beach called Pinto’s Beach Bar. No food, just cocktails and drinks. A nice place to kick back. They also have the actual Pintos night club just before the market, which isn’t always open but is still worth checking out.

On our last trip to Ponta, we went to see if Pintos was open, and passed a shebeen just next to the market, they were playing local music with maybe five or so locals dancing. After discovering that Pintos was closed, we turned around and went back to the shebeen. The girls started dancing and within a few minutes, the music changed to the latest dance stuff, and the place was packed to capacity. It’s an amazing business model and it happens wherever you go in Ponta. It’s all quiet and the moment they have customers, the place comes to life. Tourism is their bread and butter so it only makes sense that that’s how they would operate.

Ponta is a place you can simply just relax and chill. From diving, to snorkelling or just swimming in the ocean. If you are looking for a chilled holiday close to home, it’s definitely a place to go.

We chose Avis for two reasons, firstly, they were the cheapest at the time, secondly, I wanted a reputable car company where you knew what you were in for, and it was just that simple. I was told you could rent cars cheaply from people just outside the airport, but I had also read horror stories about those same people making you pay for ‘damages’ upon returning the car.

Before we left, I told friends that we were renting a car in Phuket. Their eyes went wide and I could see the disbelief on their faces, “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” they asked. Their reaction got me a little scared, so I started doing some research. I left a message on a travel writer’s Facebook page (http://jamie-monk.blogspot.com), who blogs and lives in Phuket, and asked him what it was like driving over Christmas. He replied that it would be fine, rush hour is rush hour otherwise all is fine. I was still a bit worried, if you live in a place and are used to driving a certain way, then that way of driving becomes normal. Luckily I have a friend who also lived and worked there for three years. I called him up and asked him what it was like, and he simply said “Do you have a problem driving in Durban?” to which I replied “No”, “Then Phuket will be a breeze”. Turns out he had a car and a scooter and didn’t have a problem on either. He said it was harder to drive here at home. I still wasn’t convinced, but that was good enough for me.

While in Phuket, we ended up doing a lot of driving. We saw so much more than if we had just rented a scooter or only done tours. I feel as if we needed another two days, just to have a holiday with no itinerary. Although this part wasn’t as busy as Bangkok, it was still busy, but we managed to sneak in a bit of relaxation time

From the airport we made our way down the island. Phuket has one main road that splits into two and goes down either side, joins up at the bottom, and has connecting roads in-between.

Our day was spent visiting temples. Our first stop was Wat Phua Thong. A small beautiful temple that wasn’t too busy. We then made our way to Wat Chalong, which is a lot busier. A stunning temple complex with lots to see. By this stage in the journey I was getting tired of temples, it was time for a holiday.

Our next stop was the Big Buddha. It is amazing. We paid for a piece of marble to write on which they are supposed to use in the Buddha’s restoration process. I have since read that it could be a scam, as they are taking too long to restore it. I’m not sure how true that is, but if not, then it would be pretty cool, but if so, then I hope the money was at least used to pay for someone’s meal.

On our way back from the Buddha, down the hill, we stopped at one of the many restaurants that all claim to have the “best view”. I think they probably all have a stunning view, I can’t remember the one we stopped at, but the prawns were amazing and the beer was ice cold. Anywhere you stop will have a fantastic view. We kept driving down looking at all the stops, thinking wow, that would be an awesome place to have a beer, but sadly we only had time to stop at one place as it was time to check into our hotel.

We stayed at The Vijitt in Rawai. It is a beautiful resort. Truly five star, with everything you could hope for. We had a villa on the beach, just to the right of the pool. One of the days we were there, we went for an afternoon nap and woke up to a wedding outside between us and the sea. It is a beautiful resort, but be prepared to pay a little extra.

We cleaned up, had a lie down and then headed out to find some dinner. We parked in front of a fish placed called, Talay Zeb Seafood and Wine. The owner quickly came to usher us inside, we politely declined and went for a walk to see what other places the beachfront had to offer.

Rawai is a fishing village on the east coast of Phuket and not as touristy as Patong, or the other west coast beaches. All the fishing boats park on the beach at night and the view is spectacular. It has a pier that goes out to the ocean. We walked up and down the street looking at all the different restaurants and eventually made our way back to Talay Zeb, where we decided we would eat because I felt bad that I had parked in front of his store. We were not disappointed.

It was maybe 9 or 10pm in the evening when we sat down for dinner. The owner came over with menus. I chose the prawns and my wife chose the blue crab curry. We gave him our order but was told that if I wanted to look at the fresh fish in the front of the store, he had prawns bigger than king available. I laughed and told him that we were from Durban and king prawns are big. I’m sure I was the only one that got the joke because I was the only one laughing at the time, but I’m going to blame the language barrier and not the fact that he didn’t find me funny. To my surprise they weren’t only bigger than king prawns, they were almost the size of langoustines. They were huge. He grilled them on the braai at the front of the shop, and cooked the crab for my wife. The food was excellent and it’s definitely worth a stop!

The next morning we slept in, had some breakfast at the resort, and lounged around the pool for the morning. Then it was time to go find some lunch. We got into our car, and started making our way down to the southern end of the island.

Our first stop was Prompthep Cape which is the sunset viewpoint. They have a display of ornate elephants, and once again the views were amazing.

From there we drove to Ya Nui beach, where we took a walk around before driving up to the “After Beach Bar” for some lunch, which was once again prawns.

We drove along to Karon viewpoint and pretty much stopped at every market we saw along the way. One of our lasts stops before heading back to the hotel was Chalong pier. We took a walk around, and down to the lighthouse. You can get some nice pictures of longboats here. It was fairly busy as you can catch ferries and longboats out to other islands from here, but nothing too crazy.

For dinner that night we headed back out to the Rawai waterfront and ate at Nikita’s, it’s on the left as you come into town past the pier. You can’t miss it. The restaurant is pretty much on the edge of the water, and like the rest of Phuket, the view is pretty pleasant. We felt like pizza and wine, and once again, the food was wonderful. We ended the evening with a short walk along Rawai pier.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all was quiet… We were up early and on our way just after breakfast. We drove past a Thai silk shop and a pearl shop next to each other and decided to stop. Be careful where you get pearls from, make sure you go to a reputable shop as it’s easy to get ripped off. Needless to say we walked out with silk goodies and a pearl pendant for my wife.

Our next stop was the Fish Market in Phuket town. It smells like fish, but once again they have loads of other stuff. Take a walk around and get a little lost. You won’t regret it.

Shortly after we started a walking tour of Phuket town, how else but by stopping at a coffee shop called Café’in, for coffee. Nice place, good coffee, and free Wi-Fi. My thoughts on the walking tour were as follows… Boring. I was tired of being a tourist, but our itinerary was as follows:

From Café’in we walked along to the Phuket Thai Hua Museum and the Blue Elephant governor’s mansion. We saw lots of old buildings, lots and lots of photo ops. We walked to Wat Puttamongkon, from there we went down Soi Romannee, and Thalang Road looking at all the old shops. Then it was onto the statue of The Golden Dragon and finally, Promthep clock tower. There is far more to see, and I think I may have left out a few things but I had had enough sightseeing by now.

Christmas Eve dinner at The Vijitt was a buffet. The food was great, and despite not being Christians, the staff sung Christmas carols, and put on show for us complete with a reindeer backdrop and Santa paddling in on a canoe across the pool, bearing sacks of gifts for the children!

We were up early on Christmas Day for our tour to the Phi Phi islands by speed boat. We once again booked our tour on Viator. The tour operator was Tour East and they were about an hour late for pickup, which on a busy day, running around picking up people is not too bad. Thailand prides itself on being known as the land of smiles, and after sitting in reception for about 40 min, the lady at reception asked us for the contact number we had. She called it and although we couldn’t understand a word she was saying, and she had a smile on her face through the entire conversation, her tone said it all. She politely informed us that the pickup would be there shortly. They arrived and apologised, Phuket was busy and they were delayed picking up other passengers. It’s December after all, and we were in no rush. Shit happens.

We got to the pier and realised we forgot to take towels. Here’s a handy tip, take towels, sunscreen, and a hat. We ended up buying towels at the pier. Nice souvenirs, but you know you getting ripped off for the branded towels. So smile, take a deep breath, and simply hand them your money. We boarded our speed boat and it was an hour or so until we got to our first stop. Koh Phi Phi, is breath-taking. We snorkelled straight off the boat, swam, took plenty of photos and just enjoyed ourselves. The water is blue, and warm. There were a few tiny jellyfish floating around, and you could feel a sting every now and again, but probably no worse than a mosquito bite. You can’t ask for much more.

Traveling by speed boat is a lot better than travelling by ferry. We got everywhere sooner, and faster, and I think we got to see more places. By the time the ferries started coming into the bay, it was already time to move on. Everywhere we went was less crowded. It’s a little bumpy at times, but they have some smelling herbs that settle your stomach if you feel queasy.

We stopped for lunch on what I think was Koh Phi Phi Don. The buffet lunch was nice, but it’s what you can expect from any buffet lunch organized for a tour group. Nothing special, but it hits the spot. We got a few good pictures here as well. I got a nice one of the ocean which I took on my cell phone. All of the islands are geared for awesome photos, whether you are a novice like myself, or a pro.

There is a definite reminder of the Tsunami that hit Thailand on the island with evacuation signs posted all over, as well as a board of remembrance. It’s amazing how fast Phuket bounced back from a devastating disaster, and came back stronger. Everyone on the island has a story about, or know of friends and family members affected by the disaster. Some of them recount how they can still remember the smell after, what they did to help out, and through it all you can sense their spirit of hope and survival, and the sense of community standing together to rebuild their future.

We left for Viking Island, and Monkey Island as the bulk of the ferry’s started coming in for lunch. We and then headed on to Pileh cove. The cove is stunning, you come through a rock face on either side and it opens out into the cove. I call it my pirate moment. It’s pretty nice. We jumped off the boat and swam around for a bit. It’s a really nice place to see.

Our last stop was Maya Bay, at Koh Phi Phi Lae. It’s the same beach from the movie, The Beach starring Leonardo DiCaprio. We chilled and once again had a swim. It’s a beautiful place with a small shop and not much else to do but relax.

That evening we had dinner at the Friendship Beach Resort, next door to the Vijitt. Christmas consisted of ribs for myself and pork with apple sauce and mashed potatoes for the wife. We were feeling a little homesick and wanted something more traditional for Christmas. We got to meet the chef, turns out he is from the States and he was pretty stoked that we came to try his food. By the end of the evening he was inviting us to come spend the day in the hotel pool. It’s a friendly place and the food is really nice, but it would be a lie if I didn’t say, that a Christmas roast would have gone down a treat.

December 26, the day before we left to come home, was once again a beautiful sunny day. We had spoken to another couple that were staying at the hotel with us, and also went on the tour we had booked the day before. On their advice we booked a free transfer from the hotel to Patong Beach for 11am. It was scheduled to come back at 4pm. They said that Patong was just too busy to drive in and that we would never find parking. So, by 8:30 that morning, we had eaten breakfast and were lounging at the pool, but 11am felt like a long way away. We decided to take a drive to Patong and if we couldn’t find parking, then we would just drive back and catch the transfer. Thirty minutes or so later, we drove straight into a parking in front of the beach in Patong. ‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all holiday makers had either left, or were sleeping off their hangovers. Well not all, but the beach was empty and there was plenty to do.

We took a walk along Patong beach, checked out Bangla Road, which is a bit different by day than it is by night. With lots of bars and shops it’s a bustling place. I had a touristy moment and bought a Thailand hat which is a must, and also confirms to all the other venders that you are not a local, and that they should be sure to charge you a higher price.

We had a walk around Jungceylon Mall for a bit and found a place to have a foot massage. The whole time we were in Thailand, we only came across one massage parlour that had the sign “No Sex”, which makes you wonder! While we were having a foot massage, we had a westerner come into the massage parlour for a massage. The lady at the counter simply looked at him up and down, with his hands holding the straps of the backpack on his back, and said “Upstairs!” without missing a beat.

We explored the markets and had a walk along the streets. The prices are a little more expensive than Bangkok, but it’s still pretty cheap. We took a drive to Central Festival Mall, had some lunch, and then drove to Cape Panwa where we went to the Phuket Aquarium.

The Aquarium’s 10m glass tunnel is the main attraction and it’s nice but there is not much else to see. That evening we ate at a little restaurant in Rawai. I’m not sure what it was called but when I posted an Instagram image someone commented that they had just been there. The internet is amazing.

Our last day in Phuket was sad. We had the James Bond tour booked, but they upgraded us to the James Bond and Beyond tour. We checked out and left our bags in the car. We were the first people to be picked up by the tour bus, and we were on our way.

We did the Phang Nga Bay Day Trip from Phuket by Speedboat. I think at the time it was called James Bond and Beyond, but I can’t find it anymore. The tour I’ve listed, is exactly the same. We once again had booked it through Viator, but this time we brought our towels.

We started the tour with a stop off on an island and went Spelunking in what I think was Mangrove cave. They give you a hard hat with a light, and you wade through knee high water, down a dark tunnel until you arrive in an enclosed clearing. It’s filled with huge rock formations and trees, all round amazing scenery.

Next up was sea canoeing at Talu Island. You have a guide that paddles you around, and chats to you, shows you all the caves. All you have to do is just chill, relax and let him do all the work.

We then stopped for lunch at Koh Panyee, a Muslim village build on stilts in the ocean. Our guide called it the Sea Gypsy village. There are markets all over the village, and it’s a virtual maze. We did see a child running around in nappies clutching his iPad though, so they can’t be too remote! The food was good and all included in the tour.

James Bond Island is nice. It wasn’t as busy as I thought it would be. The whole tour is a definite must and you won’t be disappointed.

From there we moved on to Rang Yai Island where we swam, relaxed and had a beer at the bar.

I’m sure there is more in the tour that we saw and I didn’t write about. With so much crammed into such a small space of time, as well as trying to keep this short I know I have missed a lot. I’m sure it’s nothing that another trip won’t fix.

We returned the rental car at about 8pm I think. Our flight was at 00:35am the following day. Phuket international departures is pretty small, but you can get a bite to eat as you wait for the impending journey home.

Phuket was awesome. I will be going back and once again, we should have stayed those two extra days.

Bangkok is truly the city that never sleeps. It didn’t matter what time you went to bed, or when you wake up. Looking out of the hotel window day or night, 3am or 3pm, the traffic was always the same, bumper to bumper, with the streets bustling with people below. Someone described Bangkok to me as a “Rocking City”, and they weren’t wrong. We were up at 6am every morning and went to bed at least 1am every night. The strange thing is, you weren’t tired. That’s not to say that when we got to Phuket we weren’t finished, there is just so much to do in Bangkok you don’t want to miss out.

Let’s start at the beginning of our trip. Our flight left from Durban to Bangkok via Dubai on Emirates airlines. The plane trip from Durban to Dubai was awful. We flew with what I’m guessing Durban must be the bottom of the barrel for flight attendants. We boarded the plane and left on time at 18:45. They only fed us dinner at 01:30 and only came around with juices and drinks twice in that time. It got to the stage where people started complaining. When we eventually got our food, they had run out of everything but the fish. That was fine, I was hungry, bring it. Thirty minutes later both my wife and I were throwing up in the bathroom. Not too badly, just once or twice. But it didn’t make for a pleasant trip. We eventually got a bit of sleep before arriving in Dubai. No breakfast just chucked off the plane. We have friends who also travelled over this time, one of them left the day we landed and they all had similar incidents on the Durban-Dubai leg of the trip. We had a 4-hour stopover in Dubai which was a lot shorter than expected. We got some breakfast and I had my Christmas Latté from Starbucks. The latte made everything better. Thank you Starbucks.

The Dubai-Bangkok leg was perfect, it left about an hour and a bit late, because they were waiting for someone’s connecting flight. That’s something you can’t complain about, because if it had been us, we would have wanted the plane to wait as well. We landed in Bangkok and had arranged our transfers with the hotel. With our flight being an hour and a half late arriving, the hotel had no problem waiting. We were picked up in a Mercedes, with complimentary water, wi-fi, the Bangkok newspaper in the car for me and magazines for my wife. We felt like royalty. It was an awesome ride taking in the views.

We stayed at the Centara Grand at Central World. The hotel is attached to Central World Mall and it has a sky bar on the roof. It was an awesome hotel. Cost wise, not much more than some of the other choices we had and truly a five-star hotel. After check in, and a quick bath, we ended up downstairs at the mall looking for some dinner. The malls generally close at around 10pm, we got to the Central World mall at about 21:50, not much time to find anything other than MacDonald’s. But even the Mac D’s menu is different and had items like a Samurai Burger, so it was still nice. After we were done we headed down to street level to go check out the nightlife. We went down into the courtyard and arrived at the biggest Christmas tree in South East Asia. It was massive, and exactly all that I love about Christmas.

The square was filled with oversized Christmas decorations as well as about four or so “beer halls”. Each beer hall had a different sponsor like Singha, Chang or Tiger Beer, and each had a live band catering to different tastes of music. This may sound like a lot of noise but you couldn’t hear the other band from one area to the next. It was amazing. We didn’t make our way into the areas as the lines were too long, but the fence was only about 3 foot high, so seeing in and enjoying the music was no problem. After a bit of exploring we ended up in bed at about 01:30. I lay down in bed and I didn’t even turn over once.

For our first day exploring, we got an all-day Sky train pass and headed down to the river. If I recall we got off at station S6. Headed to Central Pier and got a hop-on hop-off ticket for the river boat. It cost about 150 Baht. The boats leave every 30 minutes so there is always a boat coming up the river or going down.

Our first stop was Khoa San Road. We got off at N13 Phara Arthit pier, where we explored and ended up at Banglumpoo Market where we had some lunch and a foot massage. There is a wealth of restaurants and massage parlours and despite its simplicity it’s easy to get lost. We strolled over to Democracy Monument but opted to not go have a look as the protesters had closed off the area. I would rather have not strolled through a protest while on holiday if I could help it.

We hopped back on the ferry, made our way down to Pier N9, The Chang Pier and went to the Grand Palace, and Wat Pho (The Leaning Buddha). The Grand Palace and Wat Pho are a must see. Just remember to bring long pants, this goes for men or women. All the temples require you to cover up. For the ladies, take a sarong and cover your shoulders. Some temples give you a sarong but some don’t. For the guys, take some sort of pants when you go to the Grand Palace. That’s the only place I had to cover up. You can rent a pair of pants for about 80 Baht outside the Grand Palace, or just buy some in a market before you go.

We left and made our way to pier N8 (The Tien Pier), we got a little lost and ended up in some of the back alleys that run parallel to the river. All the piers are close to each other, so it’s not a far walk. It was like another world, walking down the alleyways, almost like being in a movie. Crates piled high people moving boxes, stacking things, like an old eastern film, I was just waiting for the old men playing some sort of board game to pop up. Yes the old man smoking a cigarette was sitting on a chair, In front of a small warehouse. It was awesome.

We found what we thought was Pier N8, but it turned out to be a “private pier”. I’m not sure if it was a scam or not, but I have a strong feeling it was. We walked over to the small floating platform when we saw a boat docking. He quickly dropped off his passengers and sped away. We walked down to ask directions and as we got there a woman came running down and stood in front of the walkway blocking everyone’s exit including our own. She then started demanding a 20 Baht docking fee. Amongst unhappy shouting from the passengers, I simply told her we weren’t among them and walked under her arms that were blocking the walkway, as tensions started flaring. We followed the river and a few minutes later found the pier. It’s definitely a party wherever you go. We passed two drunk westerners who asked us to take a photo of them playing an acoustic guitar on the walkway. I won’t lie, I was a bit envious.

We paid the 3 Baht for the ferry across the river and made our way to Wat Arun (Temple of Dawn). It is a stunning Temple, but a lot smaller than the travel channel made it out to be. We walked to the top and wrote our names on a big banner draped around the top of it. I’m guessing they toss the banner when it gets full, but it’s still nice to do.

That was it for the sightseeing we had planned for the day, or so I thought. My wife had other ideas. I was keen for shopping, however it was about 15:00 and we found ourselves making our way down to Asiatique Market. The market was nice I won’t lie, despite my protesting to do it another day. We hopped on the big touristy Ferris wheel that goes round and round (yes, yes, I know but it sounds better) and had an awesome view of the river and the city. We got a good few photos. We had a walk around the market and then made our way back to the hotel. Asiatique offers a free boat ride for people coming to and from the market. When we got back to the central pier the line was extremely long, so I’m glad we went early.

Our next stop after we freshened up was MBK mall. We caught the Sky Train to the National Stadium and got to MBK at about 8pm only to discover it closed at 10pm. We had a walk around and bought a few shirts, as I needed something to wear because I didn’t pack too much clothing. To give you an idea, my bag weighed 10 kgs with half of that being my toiletries. So we were extremely short of clean clothes.

With closing time approaching I vowed I would be coming back. We headed back to the Sky Train and got off at stop S2 (Sala Daeng) and made our way to Phatphong road. Phatphong is basically a market on the street with strip clubs on either side of it. There were parents with small children and people of all ages. It’s a pretty nice market, a bit over priced but still nice to walk around. You just have to ignore all the men running around with “Menu’s” of what’s available and trying to entice you into the strip clubs. That is unless you want to go inside. We had heard all sorts of stories so we opted not to go in. Instead we found a restaurant with free Wi-Fi and had some Thai dinner. Phatphong is a sight to see, and well worth the trip.

We ended the night with a night cap at the Red Sky Bar at the top of the Centara. The view is amazing, and the drinks pricey. However, you are on holiday, so it needs to be done. And it is worth it, even for just a few. Below you can see the view from the roof.

That was day one done. We got to bed at about 1:30am and up again at 6am.

Day two was a full day excursion to Ayutthaya to visit the ruins of the ancient city. We booked all our day trips through Viator. You can get it cheaper locally, but Viator is reliable and hassle-free, and you won’t accidently land up at a nondescript ‘gem store’. The tour was called Thailand’s Ayutthaya Temples and River Cruise from Bangkok. It costs about $71 per person.

We were picked up from our hotel and travelled by bus to our first stop which was the Summer Palace of King Rama IV. I’m not a fan and was much keener to see the ancient city. If they had a half day tour, I would have been happier. The palace is nice, but much of the same. Maybe I need to watch the movie “the King and I” to appreciate it, but then again, maybe not.

We made our way to the ancient city on the tour bus. The ancient city is more of a park, as you are driving along the street, you see the tips of the buildings through the trees. You hop off, the tour guide pays your ticket and you walk along the pathways. As you round the corner, you come into the city. It is breath-taking. The highlight was the stone Buddha head in the tree roots at Wat Mahathat. It is a spectacular thing to see, with plenty of photo ops. We have tons of photos from here, but I only have space here for one.

Our last stop on the tour was Wat Chai Mongkol, known for its large bronze statue of the Reclining Buddha. There are a few shops and everything is nicely priced so we picked up a few souvenirs. We bought a picture of an elephant made out of water buffalo skin or something , I could be wrong, but it’s now framed and on the wall. My wife got a chance to try durian ice-cream which, FYI, they won’t let you take on the bus due to its well-known pungent smell.

We made our way back to Bangkok on a river boat, they served us lunch and we took a leisurely cruise back along the Chao Praya River. It was nice, but just a bit too long. It’s a good tour, but all I wanted to see was the ancient city. Anyway, that’s that box ticked.

We went back to the hotel and had a drink at the rooftop pool. I would have liked to spend more time at the pool. Apparently you can hear music while underwater but I never tested that theory and now I’m sad that I didn’t. Next time we will hopefully not have so much to do and see, and we can chill a bit more. It is Bangkok however, and with so much going on, I doubt it.

After that is was back to the room to get cleaned up, and head down to Central World Mall to shop for a bit. We had some dinner, and then explored the markets around the hotel, and there are many, many markets to see.

We went past Erawan shrine which is next to Central World. There are many shrines all over Bangkok, and plenty to see and do, it was nice to just wander the streets and see where we ended up. Once again, it wasn’t before 1 or 2 am that we got to bed.

Our last and final full day in Bangkok started as usual, with a 6am breakfast.

We took a walk to Baiyoke Sky which is just next to Central World, I was told that there was a good massage parlour called Isseys that was located nearby. We walked through small alleys full of people coming and going in both directions. Scooters, as well as big trollies squeezing through the tiny stores all selling clothes and other goods. I was once again, awestruck. Organised chaos, is what it is.

We found Isseys, and sat down for a foot massage. Thai massages are the bomb! They are cheap and well worth getting. Even if you just get the foot massage, they still give you a neck massage afterwards and then break you a little, just a little, not sore or anything just enough to loosen you up. We got there at about 8am and they were already operating. We had our massage and decided we would be coming back that same night for a full body massage.

After our massages we went to Platinum Mall, which is the main ladies clothing mall. It’s just between Baiyoke and Central World, literally on the corner and just a few minutes away. If you come out the back of Central World, so you are facing the Seven Eleven, go left and then left again. Just be wary, you can bargain, and everything in Thailand relies heavily on bartering, but at Platinum it’s for three items or more. It’s more of a wholesale mall. The more you buy, the cheaper it gets. If they don’t have your size however, they will go find it… which generally means they go somewhere you can’t see them and cut out the size label. Most stores don’t have places for you to try on clothing, so you often have to guess if the size is right. It is however, dirt cheap so don’t worry too much, if it doesn’t fit when you get back to the hotel, take it home and give it to someone as a birthday gift. Problem solved.

While my wife was at Platinum Mall, I went down the road to Pantip Plaza, which is the electronics mall. I got myself an iPad bag, and an iPad keyboard also pretty cheap. A few years later and it’s still working fine. They have all sorts of electronics, I’m not sure how much of it is grey, but for the price you pay and the rate that technology improves, if it lasts two years, well done. The stores at the top of the mall think are  are cheaper than the stores at the front. The higher you go, the more you can negotiate.

After that it was off to Jim Thompson House and Museum. It’s just up the road from MBK mall. He was a spy for the Americans and set up an extremely successful silk business in Thailand before disappearing completely. It was a long tour and at some point people started leaving. It was interesting to see all the silk, and we bought a beautiful handcrafted angel for the top of our Christmas tree. So all in all not too much of a loss, despite having to wait an hour for the tour to start.

MBK was one of our lasts stops for the day and I got to do some actual shopping. Tailored jeans are a must, they tailor them while you wait. Clothing is cheap, sometimes the same price as three or four Thai beers.  When you think of it like that, it’s not too bad. Two years down the road, all my jeans and t-shirts are still perfect.

At about 11pm, we headed back to Isseys for a massage. It was a good massage, and I could probably dedicate an entire page to the experience, but I’m not going to. I’ve kept you for far too long and I still have the Phuket portion of this holiday to write.

We were back at the hotel at about 12:30 (after buying another shirt on our way back) and up at 5am to catch our next flight. We were told by the hotel that we had to leave early in order to avoid the “Anti-government demonstrations” that were taking place at the time.

We made it to the airport with plenty of time to spare, and I was sad to leave Bangkok behind us. I do however understand the phrase, “Bangkok has him now”. It is truly an awesome city.